In The Classroom Of Death & Dying

I heard you dying first.

I opened the front door of the house
And stepped in
And heard you wailing
Like a dying animal.

Of course
I didn’t know that it was you.

Then.

I thought one of the dogs
Was sick
Or hurt himself.

It wasn’t until I followed the sound upstairs
To the back bedroom
And found you curled up in the fetal position
In the center of the bed
That I actually saw you dying.

You were soaked in sweat
Hair matted to your skull
Framing insanity
Set upon teary eyes
A milky fog.

You moaned and groaned
And bubbled
Incoherently.

I tried sitting you up.

It was impossible
Like trying to balance
An 80lb bag of concrete
On top of a handrail.

You simply refused
To cooperate.

It smelled like you hadn’t showered in days.

Your breath
Your body...
Your pussy and ass
Were all unclean...

Fragrant of
Hopelessness and surrender
Piss and shit.

Pungent of a mind and body
Given up
Ready for the ghost to take over.

I found out later
That you had drank an entire bottle
Of 190 proof Everclear
Which vapored out thickly
From every pore.

I went to get a neighbor
To come and help me
Haul you down the stairs
So I could get you to a hospital
But when she stepped into the room
And saw how far gone you were
She ordered me to call 911.

Which I did.

Then we sat together on the bed
With you
After we had opened some windows.

We listened to an animal
Deep in the throes
Of death reaching inside.

We didn’t hear the sirens
Or the doorbell
Or the dogs barking
As the rest of the world
Outside
Went on
As if
This
Wasn’t happening.