Wild Animals In The House

I’ve had two bats

At least four birds

One raccoon

Four or five possums...

Some mice.

A few people attending

Parties

Who got out of control

That I would consider animals

And several banshee

Shit-crazy women.

The small ones

I could catch with a towel

And usher them out the door

Letting them escape

Outside

To what they knew.

I think they were thankful.

The mice

Not so

As I used traditional

Kill traps.

SNAP!

Some animals I had to buy

Vermin friendly wire cage traps

Setting bait

And when I caught them

I’d drive their smelly ass

Miles away to the wilderness

And let them be somebody else’s

Problem.

And then there were those...

The hardest to eradicate.

Those ones were the biggest 

Pain in the ass

Took the longest

And cost me a hell of a lot of money.