Chicken Gurl

People have ahlwehs found it strange
That Ah’ve had a fixation
Fer the Chicken Gurl
Of Hodgeman County, Kansas.

Southwest Kansas state.

She med it somewhot famous.

But Ah’ve been told
I ain’t ahlaways bin rite inna da haid.

I felt in love wit her rite-way.

I seen her pictures on postcards
N posters
Telling of her performances
Which I traded marbles
N bullets
N candy fer.

Ah kept her posters in a drawer
N the postcards
Undah mah pillow.

Ah axed fer her tuh marry me
Within moments
Of meeting her.

Well...
It wasn’t quite az spontaneous
Az it sounds.

Ah’d been stalking her
Fer months...
Mebbe fuh tha better part ovah a year.

Ah started in thuh cool southern spring
Travelling north
Then west
Then south again.

Rumour had it that her moms
Had ‘relations’
With the rooster
Of the henhouse
At her family farm
One night.
She was in one o’ dem moods
N it was Southwest Kansas spring
N it jes happened.

That woman was hornier
Than the toads
Down at Crickbottom Pond.

Mebbe
It happened more than once.

Mebbe the rooster wuz that good.

I dunno.

Tis not the oddest thing
That cud happen
Round these here
Parts.

But her moms gave burth
To tha Chicken Gurl.

She gave burth
To a real beauty.
Tho’ they couldn’t tell
Right aways.

I’m sure they kept it quiet
Fer az long as they could.

I have photos n’ newsclippings
From when she wuz but a lil gurl
Until she wuz a young woman.

Tha otha boyz
In da schoolyard
Would chase da gurlz around
Inna der dresses n skirts
N I jest sat
In da grass
N thought abouts
Tha Chicken Gurl.

She wuz da one fer me.

It wuz in mah gut.

When i became of age...
I think it wuz fifteen
I left home
In search of
Tha Chicken Gurl.

Ah finally caught up wit her
In Suthin California
At a small circus
Layover’d fer three nights
In El Centro.

Imagine
If ya will.

Mah dream gurl
In downy white puff fur
Covering her entire body.

Stalky bird legs
Joints bent behind
Instead of
Front.

Beady burdy eyes.

A soft beak
O’ flesh
Fer a nose.

I gots down on mah knee
N took her hand in mine
N asked her tah marry me.

“Yer so sweet”
She sayed
“But I’ve already got a boyfriend”
“He’s the Strongman n he’s fixin’ ta marry me I’m sure”.

Mah heart sank
N she cud tell so.

“Here”
She sayed.

She stuck out her othah hand
N put sumthin in mine.

It wuz a egg
N it had a heart
Drawn onnit.

She smiled goodbah
Tuh me.

"Sweet silly boy"
She sayed.

I left El Centro
With a heavy sadness
Not sure
Uv wot tuh do next.

It wuz somewhere in
New Mexico
Thet that egg
Done broke
In mah pocket
The heart cracking in half
N tha smell
Wuz sumthin
Terrible.