Saturday, December 24, 2011

Mr. Rosecea And The Christmas Miracle

His whole head was red
And his wife just made it redder.

His blood pressure was at
It’s tipping point
As soon as they blew in through the door
With the biting cold December air.

You didn’t have to know them
In the slightest
To feel the hatred
That they shared for each other.

So thick it was
That you could cut through it
With a chilled dull butter knife
Bought at a second hand yard sale
For a dime.

It was two nights
Before Christmas.

“C’mon! Hurry up!”
He venomed out immediately
Like a poisonous insect.

“I don’t know why you drag me out to places like this. You know I can’t stand shopping!”

He went over to the nearest chair
And plunked down in it
Brooding.

There he would remain.

At this late stage of their lives
It was apparent that
They lived solely
To make each other as miserable as possible.

“God what a loud ugly sonuvabitch bastard!”
She told a stranger
Within earshot
Out of habit.

“He makes my life unbearable.”

She purposely took her time
Looking through merchandise
She had no intention of buying
Getting a charge inside
Because she knew that
Every minute that went by
Was really setting him off.

“C’mon Lois! Let’s get out of here!!!”
He yelled across the floor
Giving a good god-damn who could hear him.

He was breathing heavily
Through the overgrowth of black unkempt jungle hair
Packed in his nostrils.

He
So long ago
Gave up caring about his appearance.
He no longer gave a shit.

He resigned to the fact
That even if he looked like Brad Pitt
She was just an evil bitch
Pushing his buttons.

She was definitely no Angelina Jolie.

“I’m looking!”
She dug in nastily
Slowly...

Slowly killing time.

The veins in his face
Flowed like purple lava
His nose blooming bloodshot
Reaching it’s game-over point.

He took a quick hit on a flask
He had hidden
While no one was looking.

“Lois! I mean it! C’mon and let’s go! I don’t want to be here! This is pointless! You’re
killing me over here!”
He yelled to no one in particular.

In slow motion
He swayed erringly
Into a large glass display
Behind him
Crashing it to the floor in a loud
Unnerving explosion.

The sound was so sudden and sharp
That it caught him off guard
And he fell to the ground
Holding his chest.

His bright red body lay on the polished white floor
As employees and customers
And an embarrassed Lois
Came running over to see if he was okay.

He lay there
Gasping
Like a dry-docked fish.

“Lord, if you were a merciful god, you would take me right now!”
He bellowed into the air
Above him.

But in his heart
He knew he was doomed
To live out the rest of his existence
On this Earth
In pain and misery.

He knew of nothing else.

With that thought in mind
He slipped into comfort and joy
As he lay on the hard floor
Listening to the harrowing methed up version of
‘Jingle Bells’
By Barbara Streisand
Playing over the store’s speakers
Loudly.

The red and green of the seasonal merchandising
Within his vision
Turned white.

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