Peeing

I am reminded tonight
Of the times when I’ve peed
And they haven’t gone so well.

There was the time
When Nicole and I were driving through the Lincoln Tunnel
To meet some friends for a night out.
We were going to meet them at Gaseteria
And move on from there.

Well traffic stopped completely
While we were in the tunnel.
I already had to pee...badly.

We were in there for a very long time
And as the moments passed
I was cramping
Complaining
It hurt so bad
And she was laughing, teasing me.

If I had known then beforehand
I would have gotten out right then and there
And just pissed all over the place.


But I thought we might get moving
At any moment
And I tried to hang in there.
I was driving.

We were probably in there
For a good fourty five minutes.

Well, I held on
And I shouldn’t have.
As soon as we got out of the tunnel
I pulled over to the first parking lot
That I saw in Hell’s Kitchen.

I just pulled the car up
And got out.
I left the door open
And walked over to the nearest wall
And started taking the biggest leak that I have ever taken.

So intense was the pain.
Such a relief it was to get this piss out of my body
That I began to feel faint.
And as the life poured out of my body
I proceeded to pass out
Right there in the parking lot
With my dick hanging out
Spewing piss
And Nicole screaming at me
“Are you okay?”

It WAS euphoric at first
Until I was splattered on the ground
Unconcious
For just a few embarrassing seconds.

There was a time in the eighties
When all of New York smelled like piss
Not just the subways
Or Alphabet City
Or the Lower East Side
Or Thompkins Square
Or China Town
Or St. Marks Place.

The smell of piss was everywhere.
Uptown, Soho
Central Park
Christ!
I smelled piss on the steps
Of the Museum Of Modern Art
And right outside of the Post Office
And some of the best restaurants in New York.

People were peeing everywhere.

Anybody would shun it...
Until they had to go!

One time I was on the Lower East Side
Bombed out of my mind.
And I had to go.

I stumbled into the vestibule
Of this building...
And God ONLY knows what time of morning that was.
I pulled it out
And just started relieving myself.
“God” I thought.
“Thank God for this vestibule so that I might relieve myself”.

Well this Chinese woman
On cue
Rushes out of the door at me yelling
“You can no do THAT here!”
“You can no do THAT here!”
And she starts beating the piss out of me
With a broom!

“You can no do THAT here!”
Bam!
Bam!
Bam!

Tonight I am pissing with my dogs.

Free in the open air
On the grass
Like any other animal on this planet.

And it feels good.
It is dark and no one can see me.

But the stream of piss
Spews out of me
Like a man
Watering the earth
The way that it was meant to be.