The Bird

I caught another bird today

In my kitchen.

I leave my back door open

For my dogs

So that they can be dogs

And go out and lay in the sun

In the garden

And shit and piss

And bark at other dogs

When I am not at home.

And now I am trying to catch

This Motherfucker of a bird

That is flying repeatedly against the window

When the door is only two feet away.

I have a towel in hand

To try and grab this bird

To try and humanely

Let him out to freedom.

But he is fucking up my kitchen.

He’s knocking shit over and breaking things up!

There is glass broken from bottles

He has knocked over

And there are feathers everywhere.

My cat is here

Centered on eating this bird.

It’s a Maine Coon cat

And this cat eats EVERYTHING.

We’re talking that this cat captures squirrels

And eats everything but the paws and tail.

So I am fighting this hungry, possessed cat

And this bird that cannot realize that freedom

Is only two feet away.

And time is going by.

I need to get to work.

I’m getting pissed off

Cause I don’t want to kill the thing.

I need a little cooperation here!

I eventually get the bird

In the towel

And I set him free

Out of the door

Two feet away.

The cat is pissed.

I am pissed.

There are feathers everywhere

And I am sure the bird

Is pissed about that.