Soul Brothers And Train Tracks

Hey Soul Brother...

I remember when we used
To explore the train tunnels
In Baltimore together.
That was insane!
We would be walking through
Miles of stone catacombs
With flashlights
Never knowing what demons or crazies
We would come across
Or in what dangerous neighborhood
We would end up in.

We would be stomping around
In the black
Looking for shit to make art out of
Or make loud clanging music
That would echo and reverberate
And be swallowed into the eerie length of the tunnel.

When we felt a train coming
We would have to rush
To find a doorway
Or an opening
That we could hide in
Until the train had passed.
Sometimes there was no doorway
And we would have to press ourselves
Tight against the grimey stone walls.

We could hear the train coming first.
In the distance the crescendo would build
And as the train came closer
There would be a warm wind that would build
Into a rush from the pressure of the trains size
Pushing through the tunnel.
The noise would get louder
The pressure and sound building into chaos.
And as the train came and passed
With terrific force
We couldn’t hear anything but immense
Mechanical muscle and metallic noise.
We were in the midst of a fury of smoke and ash
Dirt and stone, exhaust and dust.
And for many, many minutes
We couldn’t breathe
Or see anything
In the wake
Of the passing freight.
Even our flashlights couldn’t cut through
The density
And our eyes watered
As we gagged through rags
Held tightly to our faces.

Sometimes more than one came through.

I remember when we took
Photos down there with Ross
With some daring female models.
Their nude bodies smeared with grease and grime
As they hung bound in ropes
Or posed in the ancient stone catacombs.

They reminded me of my paintings at that time
Except they were photos
And in black and white
And of their own merit.

I remember tagging those tunnels
With spraypaint
So that future sickos would know
That ‘Reject’ was there.

I remember that time
When I got hold of that bottle of Dilaudid
And one afternoon out at the railroad tracks
We all drank some,
I forget who else was there,
And we proceeded on an excursion
North on the tracks
And I remember walking for miles
On a single rail
Like a balance beam
Looking straight ahead
Perfect equilibrium
Never faltering
Never looking down at my feet
Knowing Dilaudid Angels were enabling me
To perform this minor miracle.

And after awhile we all
Kicked in the grass on a hillside
And let those Angels speak to each of us
Through the shimmering cracked sunshine
That radiated overhead.

Then there was the time
When just you and I
Trekked over the trestle
Late at night.

We were high
And we were high up...
Fourty or fifty feet up.

We were tripping when we squeezed our bodies
Through the railroad ties
To get to the support below.
And we hung out up there
On top of that stone and concrete support
With the steel of the trestle and rails
Above us.

The glow of the metal moon
Passed through the twisted framework
Casting graphic shadows on you and I
And the industrial landscape surrounding us.

It was but a flash of a moment
When I saw you slip off of the side
And disappear silently over the edge
And fear gripped me quickly.

It was a fourty foot drop
And there would be no way that you could have survived that.
I was scared shitless
Crying to myself
As I worked up the guts to look over the edge.

And when I did
You were there eight feet below
Sprawled unconcious on a two foot ledge.
There was not much room
And I feared if you moved
You really would fall the rest of the way.

I lowered myself
Shaking
Down onto the ledge with you.
I was able to get you to come around.
I knew I had to keep you calm
But I also had to figure out how I was going to get you back up above.

My mind was racing.
I didn’t know if I should leave you
And go to get help
Or attempt to get you back above myself.
It was hard for me to be rational
When my brain was filled with panic and drugs.

I decided I wasn’t going to leave you no matter what.

When I thought you were capable
I got you to step into my cupped hands
And helped push you up slowly.
I prayed to fuckin’ God that night.

You got yourself up there
And I somehow got myself back up there.
I helped push you up through the wooden ties
And followed.

In the light of that sardonic moon
I could see the giant bruise on your head
And the blood.
I wasn’t scared at that point
And walked across the trestle with you
To safety.

It was then
That I felt you
Soul Brother...

We were divinely connected that night
In words, laughter, blood and tears.

We were vagabond
Hobo brothers
Fastened in spirit
As we walked miles upon miles
Of railroad together
Baring our most inner selves to each other.

I’ve never told anyone
About that night.

That night was of holy consequence
And needed not be spoken of.

There was a fire of some importance
That burned orange embers
And was hot enough to run a locomotive
Or power two Soul Brothers to the top of a trestle
And on.

I still feel you Soul Brother.

Doesn’t matter how much time has passed.

I got your back
And I know you got mine.